before i begin to relate the title and opening to anything else i am going to say, let's talk about rest of the 19th birthday i vainly promised to update you all about.
in regards to the post meridiem half of my birthday, all i can say is that if it weren't for the jersey and the certificate, my 19th birthday would have been the most dull yet. a silence and sense of invisibility paralleling my morning at work was observed yet again, only this time the obvious jealousy and pure immaturity really brought me down. don't get me wrong, i enjoy the estrangement, but it's like salt, y'know? too much can kill you.
if any of you are unable to empathize with what i had to face that day, allow these photos can help paint my picture (no pun intended, because there was no pun):
here is my awesome office, tucked away in the corner of the main Call Center. no air-conditioners reach me, so i tend to go home with a different smell compared to when i come in.
standing at the doorless entrance of my awesome office, this photo showcases my workspace and component chair. get this, i'm the only employee who has to use a laptop to do my work. it isn't even mine, and guess what, it's not 24-7's either! i have to bring my own mouse, and it's that much more of a hassle if i accidentally leave it here to go home to a cheeseless computer..
i'll give you lot three chances to guess what this picture is showing. a chair? nope. a spare chair? close. my only source of entertainment in the shithole that is my cubicle (no pun intended)? hmm. that's a good question. anyway, you would never have guessed this chair to be my spare table, now, would you? yup, that crap's on there for a reason (i have to stop with these puns but i do them without thinking!). you'd think that the management would know my job involves a lot of paper and that they would hence give me an extra small table (correction: a spare small table, not a super small table) to organize it all. but nooo, there are none left, give the pretty small tables (correction: cute small tables, not sorta small tables) to the employees higher up the hierarchy than me, who to this day still use it to put their empty tapau containers on..
so yes, if you stay cooped up in a little space (for lack of better words) like that for as long as i have, you tend to get just a little lonely and perhaps borderline insane. but it's only perhaps.
so i heard a pretty funny joke on a BBC 2 Podcast a while back:
what do you call an office where you work?
...
a woffice!!
so there you have it, laddies and folks, my woffice, given to me resignedly moreso than willfully. it's only my woffice when it isn't my office, and for most if not all the time, it's my office ;).
anyways, stuck in that thing for the better five hours of anyone's afternoon, i was more than relieved to get the hell and go home, the thrill of freedom unfortunately diminished by the repetitiveness of my day. the climax of my 19th was substantially better: my brother and i went to the Hua Ho sports complex to buy me a nice new football as his birthday gift to me, the exact same kind Manchester United and all the other Premier League teams use. its originality is, of course, a matter of serious debate.
it is a truly tough ordeal to resist the temptation to quote my puns..
...
serious-heated debate, not serious-funny debate.. heehee.
"ahh to hell with your stupid puns and woffices, nick, what's your post title supposed to do with anything?" i pretend to hear you say. well, for one thing, i had a 'social gathering lunch' doodad at my office today, where once a month all 24-7 employees and boss' friends come in for lunch to, well, eat. it's also tradition to publicly humiliate employee birthday celebrants with a cake and out-of-tune singing, but thankfully (and sort of unfortunately), that did not happen for me, the insignificant newbie in the stuffy corner. instead, it happened at the aforementioned gathering. public humiliation and out-of-tune singing not only with the guys and girls on shift, but everyone that bothers to come into this office added to the 30-odd seconds of grimace.
then again, it's not like any of them cared, all they wanted was the food and cake.. which was what they got, so everyone's a winner.
better late than never, i guess.
it kinda sucks when you remember just about all of your friends' birthdays, and they don't have the heart to return the favour, doesn't it? i'm not the kind of guy to go up to everyone saying "HEY HEY HEY IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY SO WISH ME AND GIVE ME SOMETHING WORTH AT LEAST $15.49 DAMMIT! :D:D:D" because that's a different kind of lame. for what it's worth, i'm not a "IF YOU FORGET MINE, I'LL FORGET YOURS TOO" guy either. if i actually do forget, it's genuine and offended parties are entitled to do nothing about it.
Manchester United were down 1-0 for an entire hour, until a well-timed Carlos Tevez header scores a point-saving equalizer in the 88th minute sees us still more than able to hold up the trophy for a second successive season.
better late than never, i'll always say.
then again, i'll also always say that it was because of Manchester United that Arsenal face a third trophyless season in a row, FA Cup and Premier League-wise. kudos to Liverpool for keeping the Gooners from holding up the Champs League trophy too, but we all know you scousers don't deserve any credit for anything at all. ;)
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