Better late than never.

if such a concept ever mattered at all in the first place, that is.

before i begin to relate the title and opening to anything else i am going to say, let's talk about rest of the 19th birthday i vainly promised to update you all about.

in regards to the post meridiem half of my birthday, all i can say is that if it weren't for the jersey and the certificate, my 19th birthday would have been the most dull yet. a silence and sense of invisibility paralleling my morning at work was observed yet again, only this time the obvious jealousy and pure immaturity really brought me down. don't get me wrong, i enjoy the estrangement, but it's like salt, y'know? too much can kill you.

if any of you are unable to empathize with what i had to face that day, allow these photos can help paint my picture (no pun intended, because there was no pun):















here is my awesome office, tucked away in the corner of the main Call Center. no air-conditioners reach me, so i tend to go home with a different smell compared to when i come in.















standing at the doorless entrance of my awesome office, this photo showcases my workspace and component chair. get this, i'm the only employee who has to use a laptop to do my work. it isn't even mine, and guess what, it's not 24-7's either! i have to bring my own mouse, and it's that much more of a hassle if i accidentally leave it here to go home to a cheeseless computer..















i'll give you lot three chances to guess what this picture is showing. a chair? nope. a spare chair? close. my only source of entertainment in the shithole that is my cubicle (no pun intended)? hmm. that's a good question. anyway, you would never have guessed this chair to be my spare table, now, would you? yup, that crap's on there for a reason (i have to stop with these puns but i do them without thinking!). you'd think that the management would know my job involves a lot of paper and that they would hence give me an extra small table (correction: a spare small table, not a super small table) to organize it all. but nooo, there are none left, give the pretty small tables (correction: cute small tables, not sorta small tables) to the employees higher up the hierarchy than me, who to this day still use it to put their empty tapau containers on..

so yes, if you stay cooped up in a little space (for lack of better words) like that for as long as i have, you tend to get just a little lonely and perhaps borderline insane. but it's only perhaps.

so i heard a pretty funny joke on a BBC 2 Podcast a while back:

what do you call an office where you work?

...

a woffice!!

so there you have it, laddies and folks, my woffice, given to me resignedly moreso than willfully. it's only my woffice when it isn't my office, and for most if not all the time, it's my office ;).

anyways, stuck in that thing for the better five hours of anyone's afternoon, i was more than relieved to get the hell and go home, the thrill of freedom unfortunately diminished by the repetitiveness of my day. the climax of my 19th was substantially better: my brother and i went to the Hua Ho sports complex to buy me a nice new football as his birthday gift to me, the exact same kind Manchester United and all the other Premier League teams use. its originality is, of course, a matter of serious debate.

it is a truly tough ordeal to resist the temptation to quote my puns..

...

serious-heated debate, not serious-funny debate.. heehee.

"ahh to hell with your stupid puns and woffices, nick, what's your post title supposed to do with anything?" i pretend to hear you say. well, for one thing, i had a 'social gathering lunch' doodad at my office today, where once a month all 24-7 employees and boss' friends come in for lunch to, well, eat. it's also tradition to publicly humiliate employee birthday celebrants with a cake and out-of-tune singing, but thankfully (and sort of unfortunately), that did not happen for me, the insignificant newbie in the stuffy corner. instead, it happened at the aforementioned gathering. public humiliation and out-of-tune singing not only with the guys and girls on shift, but everyone that bothers to come into this office added to the 30-odd seconds of grimace.

then again, it's not like any of them cared, all they wanted was the food and cake.. which was what they got, so everyone's a winner.

better late than never, i guess.

it kinda sucks when you remember just about all of your friends' birthdays, and they don't have the heart to return the favour, doesn't it? i'm not the kind of guy to go up to everyone saying "HEY HEY HEY IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY SO WISH ME AND GIVE ME SOMETHING WORTH AT LEAST $15.49 DAMMIT! :D:D:D" because that's a different kind of lame. for what it's worth, i'm not a "IF YOU FORGET MINE, I'LL FORGET YOURS TOO" guy either. if i actually do forget, it's genuine and offended parties are entitled to do nothing about it.

Manchester United were down 1-0 for an entire hour, until a well-timed Carlos Tevez header scores a point-saving equalizer in the 88th minute sees us still more than able to hold up the trophy for a second successive season.

better late than never, i'll always say.

then again, i'll also always say that it was because of Manchester United that Arsenal face a third trophyless season in a row, FA Cup and Premier League-wise. kudos to Liverpool for keeping the Gooners from holding up the Champs League trophy too, but we all know you scousers don't deserve any credit for anything at all. ;)

Best 19th birthday ever?

at least in my life, it sort of has to be; i only turn 19 once, after all..

shit, i feel so old. this is officially the last -teen year i'll be turning, next year it's TWENTY!! argh, no more teen in any age numbers that ensue, unless my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and i eat off a cake with 113-odd candles on it, which is highly unlikely.. after all, i doubt they'd even make birthday cakes by then..

and NO, the fact that seventy half-rhymes with seventeen does not count.

..dammit.

anyhoosiers, as usual, my 6am alarm goes off this morning, and for some reason i get out of bed to it. huh. very strange. strange up to the point that even my mum was quite bewildered that i opened my room door before she did, and i guess that made the birthday hug that much harder..

so my stepdad wanted to chat to me. but first, my mum gives me a letter he sent, and Nigel wishes me a happy 19th (though there isn't anything truly happy to be happy about. i'm 19 dammit) and gives me his handwritten, self-designed card (a traditional token us three siblings always take to, perhaps because we're too karit to buy a couple of Memory Lanes a few times a year.. hmm, who knows), then i groggily sit down for a chat with him and to read the letters as he types, because, well, yeah, not everyone was born knowing what a keyboard was.

that grogginess was soon to evaporate in a literal splitsecond. dad wishes me a happy birthday too (again, i resent the happiness), and then my mum disappears and reappears with my stepdad's actual birthday card. shit man, the quality of the cards themselves are absolutely nothing like what they are here.. i thank my stepdad to be, and then my mum disappears yet again. our webcams were on, and he was there, yet he doesn't reply me, and instead has this strange mischievous smirk on his face that turned into an outright grin as my mum reappeared behind me with a small box wrapped in shiny gold paper.

am i keeping you in suspense..? good, the suspense killed me off too, might as well take the lot of you down with me..

you're in suspense, right?

if i ever had a happy moment worth screaming FUCK YEAH!! about, this would have been it. tearing open the wrapping paper (like i would have done this time ten-odd years ago) without tearing the paper itself too much (not like i would have done this time ten-odd years ago), i open the box, open the foreign plastic bag, and lo and behold, the white AIG within that oh-so-lovable white box was staring at me, the Manchester United crest two-ish (yes, ishisms are kinda hard to forget if you've ever faced the true test that is Mr. Canterford, Geography Edition) just two inches above. HOLY SHIT IT'S AN ORIGINAL MANCHESTER UNITED JERSEY ALL THE WAY FROM ENGLAND! FUCK YEAH!!




















it was my turn to have a huge grin on my face as i thanked my stepdad from the bottom of my joy-filled heart. he replied me, but still that evil-looking grin of his was painted across his face, not wiping off anytime soon. at this point i realized my mother had disappeared yet again. wondering what else could possibly match the caliber of the best team in the world's jersey, she comes back with another gold-wrapped gift. not a box, but an A4-sized card of sorts.

again, opening it the careful way i do, it was a letter with a bit of cardboard in it. "oh wow", i said, "gee thanks, ill get back to caressing my jersey now" but my mum stopped me and asked me to take out what's really inside it, and i pull this out:




















i could not believe what i was seeing and reading. SIR ALEX FERGIE's signature on that thing! after slapping myself hard and telling myself this is really happening, i thank my stepdad yet again, although i'm sure that's never enough.

this time, my mum disappeared to send my sister to school, so i just chatted with my stepdad until it was time for him to sleep. boy, i can't wait till we all join him..

anyway, here's the awesome part:

more awesome than what just happened, you say? haha, i know right?

like an excited little boy with his new toys, i bring my jersey and certificate to work to show their asses off to my colleagues. as expected, the fellow Red Devils fans were jealous, and the supporters of useless teams scoffed at how fucking brilliant my birthday presents were.

how sweet, even amongst the taunting happy birthday singing, my boss just gives me that disapproving look that he always greets me with..

as i complete this blog post, i am officially invisible and oblivious to everyone around the office. muahaha, give a shit, i do not.

anyway, if you're reading this message, this post has yet to be completed, because, well afternoon events have yet to surpass, so expect updates by the climax of my now very happy 19th birthday.

toodles.

a few words from the author, if you will..

contrary to popular belief, this blog IS dead, but its author is not (ya'll say THANKFULLY now), and in fact has provided three very palpable, logical and arguable reasons for this blog's downright staleness:

1) the author is one hell of a lazy git.
2) the author has been unable to find any free time to dedicate it to filling in these blog entries.
3) the author has nothing short of lackluster happening in his life to blog about.

the author will definitely admit to 1). he has found many more things in life to spend sixty (60) seconds a minute on than bitching about his life in public, online. 2) has hence been justified. however, it could be argued that 3) is wrong. quite wrong, in fact. the author just felt a need to provide a third reason, as most easily won arguments do, thus 3) was born.

at this point the author is sure that the readers of this particular blog post are labeling him hypocrite; "you lie! you say your blog is dead but you've just friggin' posted!" the author will also admit to that, simply because denying his own hypocrisy would be, well, a hypocritical thing to do. it could be said that the author has found a means to break free from his no-blog-no-more ways just this once, to perhaps relieve himself of the pure boredom, self-loathing and dullness he faces every damn time he walks into his office cubicle.

so here it is, folks.. another blog post. bless me, Father, for i have sinned. it has been eight months since my last post, and bloody hell it feels like it's been so much less.

who reads my blog anyway? please do make yourselves known on that very rusty tagboard to your right. anyhoos, to all of you: HEY GUYS, HOWS IT GOING?!!? how the fucking hell have ya'll been? and to think it's been nearly an entire year since our last assembly.. April 20th if i am not mistaken (which i aren't, i don't make mistakes) and in the time between our exams, prom and hanging out and whatnot until now, the entire cycle of birth had ensued, so congratulations to all the newborn babies and new parents!

random? nahhhh..

i know all of your lives have been going great, after all, most if not all of you are already happily adjusted to the ironic hell that is university life. congratulations to you all, you all more than deserve the unending stress to keep up with deadlines and to make it to Monday's lectures as sober as possible. i hope i can join you someday, should the Lord will it.

me, you say? how have i been doing? good questions, all! now how do i answer these questions i asked myself? hmm..

for one thing, i'm still in Negara Brunei Darussalam. surprise surprise. if i aren't mistaken, which, again i isn't, the last thing any of you know about what i plan to do with my stale life is to learn malay, get a scholarship and get the hell out of here.

nyyeearrghnrgh, that's not happening anymore. three-odd months of private tuition tells me i'm not cut out to learn my local language, such a promising yellow IC holder i am. i doubt my miserable 27 points would convince the government to let me experience the joys of further studies either, should i ever break down that language barrier either.

therefore, my plan right now is to.. work. just work, for now. yeahp, i'm sure all of you know i currently have a job at 24-7 ASSIST, a lovely place if you ignore the biased boss, the power-abusive managers, the selfish colleagues and the unending flow of oily food, ice cream and mountains of work. that's a euphemism, right? shit, i've been out for so long..

as you all MIGHT have noticed, for the entire month of March i did not sign into MSN nor have any real Facebook activity during the day. well, when my boss hired a new accountant she took my place and i was forced to work with a dinky, slow and internet-less computer for the entire month. as if my job weren't dull enough already (please refer to the pictures of what i have to deal with to earn my salary at the end of this blog. well, salary at end of month, pics at end of blog. okay? okay), i surrender my computer to someone who doesn't even know how to use it. hell i don't think she even knows it has internet access. thankfully, yesterday ended that streak. today is the second day that i come to work with an internet computer to work with again. praise God for that. kudos to my manager-in-charge/cousin too, who was kind enough to give it to me provided i work my ass off, but you guys and i both know i've had a month's experience to help deal with that anyway.

such a funny thing to address 'you guys', dontcha think? i could be talking to my own computer screen for all i know..

i do have ONE thing to thank this office for, however. back in December 2007, there was a lot of hype in the office regarding the up and coming football match between Manchester United and Liverpool. i couldn't care less about the sport at the time, but my colleagues were badgering me to pick a side. so i had a dilemma here, which side to pick? on one hand, Manchester United had been a favourite of some of my closest friends and of the pure inspiration that was my guitar teacher.. a pinoy that adored football and could care less about basketball, pool AND bowling! how fracking rare is that?! on the other hand, the Beatles were from Liverpool.. however, in the end, the Red Devils won my mental battle, and when it was time to watch the game, i drove back into the office to watch it, since mum wanted the Asstro at home. on the whiteboard, there was a messy table with a bunch of my colleagues' names under the team they support, and how much they each have to foot out to buying food for the Christmas Barbeque if their side lose. so i put my name under the better side, and got to watching the game.

to rid myself of hiding from humiliation, i'll say right now that for the first ten-odd minutes of the game, i was supporting the wrong side, simply because my mind told me that Manchester United wear red jerseys.. for you non-football losers, the Red Devils were playing away so they had to use their black away kit simply because Liverpool stole the colour from us. silly nilly me. anyhoo, the game ended 0-1, and i was bewildered and amazed at what i had just witnessed. "holy shit, football is fucking awesome" was the only sentence chanting in my head as i drove home for a good night's sleep, knowing bragging rights await me at the office the next day.

so here i am now, one of the most late-blooming football-crazy freaks you'll ever find. it's the only thing i bother about now, and my only regret is that it did not hit me this hard anytime sooner, like, say, slap Joseph and Raushan in the face before walking into our first IB lesson early.

so, that's my life in a blog-shaped nutshell, really. work, football and lots of waiting. the best case scenario for me here is that my family and i migrate to England to be together with my stepdad-to-be, but that's still in the future.. so what else can i do but help it come sooner with the paychecks i get at the end of the month?

i hope you are all doing well, please chat to me if you are online. thanks to my new perk, i should be around for a little conversation or two.

laterr.

here are los gambars i referred to earlier:












































































and this is just all in a day's work.. shedloads of fun no?