Funny things to do on an elevator.

okay, so my blog's become very stale as of late; an inevitable knock-on effect of having bugger-all to do, so i've decided to go and do something completely different and provide an interesting list of various activities one can do when one is on an elevator, preferably with strangers. i've compiled different ones from the different joke sites that try to make such lists (most are identical), and i've removed the ones that are kinda lame, e.g. "enter with a shovel and attempt to 'dig for treasure'". some of these are stupid, some of these are hilarious, and the rest are hilarious because they're stupid. for the record, i sorta see myself doing some of them.

anyways, here's the list:

1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, then repeat.
3. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
   
4. Ask if you can push the button for other passengers, then push the wrong ones.
5. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cellphone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
6. Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
7. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
8. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
9. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
10. Shave.
11. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
12. Right after the doors close, run into them screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
    
13. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
14. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
15. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
16. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
17. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
18. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
19. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
20. Swat at flies that don't exist, especially ones that land on other passengers.
    
21. Tell people that you can see their aura.
22. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part.
23. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
24. Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
25. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
26. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
27. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
28. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
29. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
30. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stays open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
31. Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
32. Hold an auction.
33. Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
34. Throw a rave.
35. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not feng shui."
36. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
37. When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"
38. Have a heated debate with yourself.
39. Draw a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out treasure maps to everyone as they enter.
40. Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.
41. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
42. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
43. Propose to the other passengers.
44. Challenge people to thumb wars.
    
45. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger, "I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
46. Express your passionate hatred for elevators.
    
47. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout, "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
48. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
49. Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."
50. When a new passenger boards, giggle then try to suppress it.
    
51. Ruffle noisily through some plastic bags in efforts to find something you think you've lost.
    
52. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
53. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
54. Preach God's Word.
55. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say "Oops!"
56. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
57. Sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" while continuously pushing the buttons.
58. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it's infected.
59. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
60. Meow occasionally.
61. Give everyone high-fives and congratulate them for successfully boarding the elevator.
    
62. Say "Ding!" everytime the elevator comes to a halt.
63. Lean against the button panel.
64. Bring a chair along.
65. Announce you are a recovering claustrophobe, and suddenly feel regression coming.
    
66. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
67. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
68. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
69. Ask passengers if they have a problem with you.
    
70. Before entering an elevator, start having second thoughts about using it, keeping your finger on the button.
71. Make eyes at passengers of the same gender as you. Look horrified if they eye you back.
72. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, dammit!"
73. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.
74. Make chalk drawings on the walls.
75. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper "Hide it... quick!" then whistle innocently.
76. If your mobile phone rings, don't answer it.
77. When the elevator comes to a halt, fall over.
78. Pick up the emergency phone and try to order pizza.
79. Hit every button, get out at each floor, say "Nope, this ain't the right one", get back on and ride to the next floor. Repeat.
80. Face one of the back corners, looking at the floor, hugging yourself, rocking back and forth and moaning softly.
    

so i watched Harry Potter yesterday, and i can tell you Transformers is still #1, but it was good nonetheless, though as one would always expect from book-to-movie renditions, some bits just aren't there.

as for the list, i've actually added some that i thought up while copying and pasting the funny ones, so if any of you have activities just as funny or funnier, post it on a third-party contribution.